Style Smackdown #3: Subcompact CUV

"IanZ - limited-slip indifferential" (ianz-limited) 05/01/2016 at 12:10 • Filed to: Style Smackdown, Communist Polar Bears, Sarah Palin, Insert Joke Here

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In the third edition of the Style Smackdown series and in weeks to come, I will be going through Car & Driver’s vehicle rankings by segment and rating them myself. Where Car and Driver rank the respective vehicles on criteria like interior ergonomics, cornering prowess, and ride quality, I will be ranking them based on one factor: STYLE. Yes, like the blah blah insert witty joke here blah blah, only the prettiest will make it to the top. The winners are determined using a top-secret algorithm developed by a zombified Nazi riding a T-Rex, and the input of a knowledgeable panel of judges; myself, Sarah Palin, and a communistic polar bear. So with a condescendingly enthusiastic amount of applause from a small group of elderly people, let the Style Smackdown begin!

This week we’re investigating the segment of vehicle universally hated by all Oppos without any exception ever at all: the CUV.

#8: I debated which one of these would receive the honor of being second worst. In the end it came down to which one could be had in pearl white with champagne plastic cladding. On that criteria alone the Buick LOSES! The second deciding factor in the Buick’s utter failure tonight was its blue projector lights; they always look cheap. The Encore does a decidedly worse job disguising its tallness than the Trax, with a lot of vertical lines and swoopyness. The more I look at it the sadder I get, so I’m going to stop now.

#7: I don’t like Chevrolet’s “design language” at all; it works mediocre-ley well on some of their cars (Camaro, Impala, new Malibu, Suburban) but on most it looks horribly generic and uninspired. That said the Trax is less abrasive on the eyes than the Encore.

#6: The Paceman ranks low because of the details, and in spite of the shape. As a shape it’s not bad; the roofline is gently sloped, the rear haunches are muscular, and its proportions are decent. It looks more like an embiggened Cooper than a CUV. But its details are terrible! The headlights and grille combine to give it a look of terror and the small grille underneath the main one is ugly and I’m pretty sure functionally pointless. And the strip that connects the A-pillars to the wheel arches, while a valiant effort to incorporate the side reflectors, is awkward. The Paceman’s best angle is definitely the rear. I really like the blacked-out C-pillars and the taillights that kind of look like eyes with mascara around them. I’m also a fan of the wheels.

#5: The HR-V is fine.

#4: The 500X was refreshing but the Juke is just a little revolting. Love it or hate it, the Juke is at least unique. Nissan is the first company I know of to design a car after a frog with the mumps. The biggest gripe I have with the Juke is the presence of those weird turn signal/reflector/plastic harpoon things on the hood. We need more cars without a recognizable face!

#3: I may be one of the few people outside Fiat’s styling department that actually likes Fiat’s styling on cars other than the 500. I like the 500X; I even like the hated 500L! (But I’ll save that for another time.) The shape of the 500X is reminiscent of a lumpy Porsche Macan. Fiat’s quad headlight setup really works for me, but the feature that stands out the most to me is the absence of a ginormous grille on the front. In the age of Lexuses with grilles like cable-knit sweaters it’s really refreshing.

#2: The defining aspect of the Renegade is its cuteness. It’s a sort of caricature of ruggedness, with thick pillars, oodles of plastic cladding, and a face that says take me seriously, but no too much. The veritable smorgasbord of Jeep-themed easter eggs propel it to the top.

#1: The CX-3 is not only a handsome car, it’s downright sexy. Mazda have taken a crossover and given it the proportions of a sports car. With its long hood, sculpted hips, and aggressive styling, I think you could make a case for this being Mazda’s 3 rd best-looking car today. And Mazda’s 3rd best looking car is the best looking subcompact CUV.

Steve in Manhattan > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:12

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Chevy and Buick same platform?

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Steve in Manhattan 05/01/2016 at 12:13

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Yes

Steve in Manhattan > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 05/01/2016 at 12:16

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I suppose if I had to rent one it wouldn’t be too bad, but as a DD? Nope. And that swept-up rear in the Mini just wrecks visibility and defies logic.

yamahog > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:16

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I get that design is subjective, but how in the world is the Juke beating anything, let alone something you said was “fine?”

jimz > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:18

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Nissan is the first company I know of to design a car after a frog with the mumps.

I tend to think “Aztek having an allergic reaction to a wasp sting” but yours works too.

Mazda have taken a crossover and given it the proportions of a sports car.

do you get around using a white cane?

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:22

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The Mazda and Renegade are the only two that actually look good on this list. The rest just shouldn’t exist.

Probenja > Steve in Manhattan 05/01/2016 at 12:31

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Yes and both have been refreshed for 2017:

CompactLuxuryFan > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:36

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The 500X is really good looking but the interior isn’t very good. I’d put it above the Renegade.

I just don’t see any value at all in this category. You’re much better off with a compact hatchback. You left out the Subaru Crosstrek, which is known to compete with these, but it really is just a lifted and cladded Impreza. If Mazda did an AWD, lifted 3, there’s no point for the CX-3.

Probenja > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:36

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I feel like you forgot the Subaru Crosstrek and the Mitsubishi Outlander Sport:

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Steve in Manhattan 05/01/2016 at 12:38

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Rent? Yes. Buy? Nah. The higher seating position of them may be great but I’d still rather get a Honda Fit for that. Not that I actually want that though. The existence of the Mini is beyond questionable but I actually like it.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Probenja 05/01/2016 at 12:48

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The only appeal in this segment I can see is AWD. Because they’re so small (CX-3 is based on the Mazda 2) they don’t offer much utility, and the price isn’t competetive enough to justify them over a compact hatchback or CUV.

Wobbles the Mind > Probenja 05/01/2016 at 12:52

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Both are small compacts, though the Crosstrek is a niche vehicle and doesn’t have any “direct” competitors. That said, Escape, Rav4, and CRV are what those two vehicles are benchmarked against.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > yamahog 05/01/2016 at 12:54

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I really like the Juke’s design! It’s not pretty or even handsome, but it’s quirky and has character. And the HR-V is just kinda boring. There’s nothing wrong with the HR-V’s design, but the Juke’s quirkiness won me over.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 05/01/2016 at 12:56

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The Renegade and the CX-3 represent sort the opposite ends of the spectrum for me. Mazda went whole hog with the styling and made something really gorgeous with not a lot of effort on utility or practicality, and Jeep made basically a box on wheels which made it really practical.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 12:58

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This is true. I saw one in dark blue the other day and was amazed at how good it looked.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > yamahog 05/01/2016 at 12:59

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I liked the Juke when it came out. Now it’s looking like it kinda needs a refresh.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > jimz 05/01/2016 at 13:00

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That is also an apt comparison.

I don’t get the reference? But a white cane would be ballin’.

yamahog > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 05/01/2016 at 13:03

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it’s looking like it kinda needs a refresh. the sweet embrace of death.

FTFY ;)

Cash Rewards > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/01/2016 at 14:03

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What about the premium Germans? I love the q3, and I’m pretty sure Mercedes and BMW have competitors.

RT > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 06/03/2016 at 21:24

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Ranked in the exact same order I would put them.

The Mazda and Jeep look miles better than the rest imo.